Do you Choose?

Posted on January 1, 2013 by Timothy S.

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“I Choose”
Written by Just A Guy On A Journey.

Lose 25 pounds, have a better year than last year. Stay organized. No fast food. Quit smoking, etc etc.

This is the busiest time of year for gyms selling gym memberships to bright-eyed, bushy-tailed people with good intended resolutions from New Year’s Eve. Unfortunately, many of these resolves and workouts are half-hearted and short-lived.

On my journey I find these resolutions do not work, at least for me they are not effective. The truth is I can not even remember the resolution I made 365 days ago or if I even made one at all.

A recent post on Facebook by Pastor Chris Fraley of Abundant Life Church in Freehold, NJ Abundant Life Church inspired my new mantra for 2013. His status simply read,
“Focused on solutions not resolutions, that’s how I roll.” I like that a lot and it brought me to this writing for the first day of the year and my new outlook on resolutions.

The reason resolutions often fail is because the decision to implement these new habits is made one time, on New Years Eve. We then venture into the new year looking for positive change from a ceremonial half committed promise we made to ourself. These nonchalant resolutions usually turn out to
be nothing more than wishful-thinking born out of an annual tradition.

My recipe for success this year is to put two words before each goal and before each action. Those magic words are “I choose.”

Any everlasting change comes first with a true commitment to the change and then taking responsibility for the change.

We can take responsibility for the change we choose and our choices by choosing them on a daily basis and in every action. Our inner-selves must DECIDE, therefore we get to CHOOSE!

I encourage you this year to choose the benefit that wishful resolution offers you and choose to focus daily on the positive result it produces. Be sure to take consistent action towards accomplishing it.

For me, one choice I will continue to make throughout the year is listening to God for all of my choices. This will increase my zest for fruitful living including love, peace and joy.

True happiness comes from within. “You choose.”

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Do You Really Want to Know?

Posted on December 2, 2012 by Timothy S.

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Do you really want to know?

You are going to have “x” amount of kids, grand-kids, live in such and such a town and you will do….(fill in the blank) for a living. You will retire at…fill in any city”. You will take your final breath at….

Your life spelled out in bold letters in front of you. The biography reads your name on the cover. Every detail of your life is written in this fun-filled book.

This all telling book talks about all of your amazing accomplishments, triumphs, vast glories, how you affected people in a positive way. What if this book was completed and you had access to it?

Pretend you already know what those things are from your birth through today (your past), or for people my age… we know what happened the first half of our life. But what if? What if the second half of your life which did not occur yet (your future) was written in a “play-by-play” documentary and you could read it today? Would you?

My question to you is, do you really want to know what it says? Do you really? I don’t.

At first glance sure, who wouldn’t? But think it through. Wouldn’t it take the joy out of the suspense each days gives us? If we already knew what and who we are to encounter on our journey through life, we would lose the joy of discovery and the gift of anticipation. There is beauty in the unknown.

Every day is a gift that we get to unwrap. Isn’t a gift more exciting when it’s wrapped up in all that fancy paper and colorful ribbon? So much of the gift is in the presentation and the anticipation of what lies under that pretty packaging.

I love discovering each day. Taking each day captive and seizing every moment that is packed into that 24 hour period.

Often, I have disappointed myself by thinking the way things should be in my future and why it did not happen.  My current response is, “So what. Who cares about next year, 5 years from now or twenty years from now?”

We do not even know if we will have external life within us tomorrow yet alone five years from now. Therefore, it just makes plain sense to live for today. Let’s sing, ” Sha la la la la la live for today.”
I need to sing that song to remind me of all the joy that is within in me right now and appreciate all of the living beauty that is around me right now.

Life is amazing when you let go of how you think things should be and you keep your hands open for God’s special delivery of the day. Keeping an open-heart is vital for happiness also. Always invite love in. You don’t know where it’s going to take you and that alone is an unspoken gift. It’s making me wait, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

How about you? Do you really want to know.  Would you buy the book written about you? Warning! There need be spoiler alerts on every page. 

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Is God Leading You?

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Timothy S.

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Are you on the right road?
Going in the right direction? Are you veering off course? How do you know if you are doing the right thing for what God wants for you?

Those are good questions and I know where you can find those answers.

Well… The most important step is to ask God for such direction. If you trust Him, He will lead you, with the operative word being “if.”

I’m just a guy on a journey constantly seeking God’s direction and God’s will for my life. To that end, I am glad He gave me the wisdom to document certain desires and write down answered prayers in my notes to myself that I keep along the way.

When we listen to God and let Him inspire us, He will direct our path on a daily basis as well as an annual basis. We just have to ask and then trust His plan. Remember, God is a Shepard above all shepards. He will reign us in and guide us when you are asking to follow His plan. (I just got a peaceful smile 🙂 when I wrote that last sentence). PRAISE the One that steers us and comforts us. Thank you God!

In direct response to a question I asked God yesterday, the Lord led me to open up my Bible this morning to the following scripture:

2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (New King James Version)

“And in this I Give advice: it is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago, but now you must also complete the doing of it, that there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. For there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have. ”

Those verses prompted me to read what I wrote one year ago today to myself on November 27, 2011. I checked my notebook and Wow! God is so telling! I am so glad I write this stuff down.

I know I am on the right path when He leads me to certain scripture and it gives me clear direction and instructions. You can find guidance in His Word, the Living Bible.

Always pray that God’s “will” will be done and we don’t put our selfish desires ahead of His. Our personal desires will line up with His plan for us when we constantly seek His will for us as individuals.

I am so thankful God is on my journey with me, leading me. My God is awesome and I need to share that message today. I love you all.

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4 Thanks! Yes Four.

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Timothy S.

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4 Thanks.

4 Thanks

It would be cliche to say to count your blessings on this season of thanks. A time when people preparing the annual turkey and expecting family often stress out about getting everything done just right.

The stores are packed with people scurrying to make sure they have everything they need to prepare a feast. Feasting is a beautiful thing that takes root in Biblical times. Everyone loves a good fiesta, that trend never ended.

Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends to reconvene and with an abundance of broken homes in our great country, families can’t always be together on the appointed holiday.

Not in a cynical sense but Thanksgiving is on an arbitrary date on the calendar and does not represent a specific date in history, therefore it can be celebrated anytime of the year regardless of what the calendar says.

If the holiday is truly for the purpose of gathering families and breaking bread together and being in the presence of each other , then why do it only once a year? Maybe once a quarter is more appropriate.

What would it look like if you scheduled your loved ones for a thankful fiesta the first Sunday of each season, winter, spring, summer, and fall?
For those fortunate enough to have their full families together, this would be a beautiful blessing and more of a necessity for divorced families.

For the children that are products of divorce, each year they can count on two Thanksgivings with each parent. Taking time out twice a year for those you love the most can be the start of a healthy tradition.

The turkey does not have to lay down its life only on a legally appointed holiday. I like the fact of
each family scheduling their own committed holiday where it is not recognized nationally. Such a date will be void of Black Fridays and madness in the supermarkets.

It is a win/win for all and it carries less stress and less traffic on the heaviest travel day of the year.
Celebrating once a year just does not cut it.

As I write this, I am going to implement this with my own family and celebrate “Family” formally on one day each season that is set aside for the people that we are most thankful for.

Instead of calling it Thanksgiving, I will call it “4 Thanks” for four times a year.
With an overflowing of thankfulness and so much to be thankful for, isn’t more than once a year necessary for all families anyway?

Why not do this? There is no shortage of turkeys in these great States. Who is with me on this idea? For me, as in poker, I’m All In.

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Win One, Lose 1 & A Dog

Posted on November 16, 2012 by Timothy S.

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Win One Lose One and a Dog

It’s early in the morning in a suburb of Dallas and I am on my first appointment for the day. The insurance company for my customer vehemently denies paying for a new roof thus rendering my contract with the insured null and void. “Oh shucks!” No new roof here.

Heading towards my car, I ask myself, why would God bring me all the way to Cedar Hill wasting resources for a sale that has gone bad.

From a least a dozen houses away a piddly little squirt of a dog comes trampling down the street as if he is late for an appointment. As his little feet scurry back and forth, his paws bounce off the sidewalk with each step in a perfect cadence.

Where is this scrappy dog heading? He must be lost. I figure I will return him to his owner. I approach this tail wagging undernourished creature to find no tags on him and it doesn’t take long to figure out this little guy is a victim of neglect. His ribs are showing. I pet him and he becomes so passive and docile, he wanted the attention more than the dry bone that fell from the only trash can on the street that was his morning’s score.

I scoop him up and plan to knock on some doors with this puppy dog in my arms and see if I can locate the owner and who knows, while I am at their doorstep, maybe they will need a new roof and some contracting work.

Walking up the driveway of the first house, I feel like Baretta in some strange way with his parrot. I am quickly getting attached to this raggity, poor little guy inside a dog’s body. He is shell shocked and offers not even a modest wimper as he displays no personality whatsoever. He has a helpless look on his face. I think he is thinking ok Mister, “Now what?”

The homeowner at the first house I stopped by said no it is not my dog and yes I need a roof. He gives scrappy dog a makeshift bowl of water and he gives me a signed contract for his roof to be replaced. The insurance company recently approved to buy him a new roof so we are good to go. Yay!

Praise the good Lord, I lose a sale and within half an hour gain a new one.

I also have a new best friend for now and I think we will work again together tomorrow. One knock and a sale, I am liking those stats.

So, what started off as unproductive morning, God quickly showed Himself to me as He often does. I received a quick answer to my prayer as to whether or not I am doing the right thing by taking this dog home. I felt a certain peace about it and the Lord confirmed it within a few minutes by showing me a particular and meaningful car (significance of the car and its license plate is undisclosed at this time) that had a dog carrier/cage in the front seat. As scrappy and I pull away, this is the first car we see. It was a clear message.

God’s grace is so good. He gives me a new customer with limited effort and a helper for my job that does not require a paycheck.

Or as my friend Lizanne endearingly asks, did I find the dog or did the dog find me?

Guess who is going to be at the dog park this weekend? I’ll be the guy nursing this underdog back to health, no, not me. Scrappy.

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The Survey Says

Posted on November 14, 2012 by Timothy S.

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The Survey Says:

Crying

Hey guys do you cry? Come on tell the truth. I’ll admit it. I cried when Old Yeller died. I cried when I read the Outsiders in the sixth grade. I cried on my wedding day.

Only real men cry. I polled several friends both male and female and 100% agree that it is ok for grown men to cry.

The funniest response I received was from a guy that replied and said it is only ok for men to cry when watching Little House on the Prairie.

A lovely mature woman wrote: “Only real men cry. Those who don’t are too caught up in “looking good” and are much too concerned with how they will appear and come across. Such introversion is a red flag to women who want sincerity and a friend/partner who can relate to reality with raw, honest emotion. Nothing wrong with that. The more you can connect with your emotions, no matter what your sex, the more real you can be and the greater asset you will be to your partner when you finally find that ultimate relationship.”

As a guy that is not afraid to cry, I am proud to report there are two instances in the Bible when Jesus wept. John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” Jesus and Roy Orbinson both “crying” I am in good company.

Maybe Roy was showing his manhood amongst the great when he was “Criiiiiiying Over You.”

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You or a Sparrow?

Posted on November 11, 2012 by Timothy S.

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Are you worth more than a sparrow?

Coming home from Church a flock of sparrows catch my attention. As I stand in awe of how many birds are in this one tree, more birds pour into it.
I can’t help from noticing the birds are jockeying for position on the near leafless branches and hopping excitedly from branch to branch. There is no chirping, just wings flurrying as the birds dance throughout the tree. There is usually only one or two birds in this tree and today with the sudden onset of several sparrows, I wonder, “Is there a message here for me?” Aside from the fact I love seeing birds interact with each other, why is God pointing this out to me now?

I want to hear God speak so I go to His Word and look up where Jesus talks about sparrows. It reads, “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs from your head are numbered. Do not fear therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)
Interesting, the next Bible verse after the “sparrow” verse refers to the hair on our heads being numbered. A few minutes before I encounter these flittering birds, I was given a verse from the book of Luke that says “not a hair on my head will perish.”

Ok, so what is God saying? He is saying we are worth far more than the sparrows He watches, and He is watching us more intently so we need not worry. He knows everything about us and He has things under control and we shall not perish.

We shall not perish??? I believe I had feelings of perishing this morning as I entered Church alone. I am not in Church with my family due to the effects of divorce. I was down on myself over this as I non willingly focused on some of my past failures and the price I am paying for it to this day.

Feelings of perishing were overtaking me, so does God really care for me? Amen, yes He does! This is the message He gave me.

God is saying to me:
So what, you screwed up. You are no different than the next guy that screwed up too. He is saying Tim, let this regret go. I forgive you. You will have more joy with the people you love soon, real soon. Hang in there Tim. I care about you. Don’t beat yourself up. You are so much to me, far more than any amount of sparrows and I have an account for every sparrow out there.

I told you, you are not going to get hurt. I am faithful. Trust me.
I showed you this visible display of birds that you enjoyed watching to remind you that I created these birds and they contain value and purpose, but look at how much more I value you Tim.

Remember Tim, I am God, I am the creator of all things. Stop worrying about what is currently on your mind. My scripture I showed you today in your car a few minutes before you saw this feathering bird show, said “Not a hair on your head shall perish” and then I show you a live, attention-getting scene of dancing sparrows that leads you to my teachings about how I care for sparrows and I say you are worth far more than many sparrows and even the sparrows are important to Me.

You are worth a lot Tim. Don’t focus on your failures, I have told you several times that I have great plans for you and that includes Me using you for my glory. And right now, I want you to write about this and share it with the world so they can see how I work. Let them know I care about them and I can restore them too.

Let them see how I point things out to you and give you two scriptures with the same message so they know it is from Me. Share with them how I talk and the comfort that I give. I want them to know they are worth far, far more to me than sparrows and a sparrow does not hit the ground without Me knowing about it.

You are valuable Tim, and so are your friends, family and the people you reach with your writings about your experiences and the demonstration of the love I have for you.

Look at how much better you feel already Tim. I told you I will not let you get hurt, now spread the word.

Good things are coming your way Tim and they are coming soon. Keep doing my work.

Hang in there Tim. I love you. Be faithful. Watch what I do.

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No lights, no sound, no motor car…

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Timothy S.

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No lights, no sound, no motorcar, not a single luxury…

Really now? Everyone has lost power before but this is extreme.
It’s been 5 plus straight days already for many of my Jersey people with no end in short-term sight. Lack of power for more than two hours in these parts of the woods is uncanny.

Tunnels closed into NYC, subways closed, trains not rolling, buses canceled. Atlantic City casinos closed for 5 days straight etc. etc.

People are running low on food, and unhappily waiting in line for gasoline for as long as four hours. I can only imagine the frustration.

This is not what the East coast is about. This is as common as a rattling earthquake in the Great NorthEast. It just does not happen.

What possible good can come out of all this? Perhaps it will show us we are not immune to disaster. I am hoping it proliferates gratefulness. Gratitude for all the uninterrupted years of peace and constant beauty we enjoyed at the Jersey Shore and throughout our whole great state.

Will it help us appreciate advanced civilization as we know it? Do we take for granted when we simply flick a switch and a light comes on? Thankfully, we don’t even know what a wooden icebox is. Conscientiously, we are not thankful for our refrigerators cycling freon 24 hours a day keeping the cherries for our luscious sundaes fresh and the whipped cream from spoiling. Praise the Lord adding ice purchased from an ice house is not necessary. The Ben &Jerry’s never melts.

It is the little things we often take for granted in life yet when we lose them, those things are no so little after all, are they?

My contemporaries all grew up giving attention to the boob-tube when that three hour tour song came on. Running to the living room where the single tv entertained us through its rabbit ears, we watched Gilligan’s Island broadcast the lack of modern day conveniences in having no light, no sound, no motor car not a single luxury. Look at the effects of this stone age atmosphere. The skipper was always ornery, easily annoyed and in a perpetual state of frustration broken only when a new idea came up for escaping from the deserted island. BTW, (I believe Maryann is the “hot one” not the “movie star.” There is no shortage of those in California and fortunately we are not stranded long term so we can hop on a plane anytime and find our own movie star.)

This is not TV though. This is real. Now it is my friends and family experiencing this archaic lifestyle and my wish is somehow I can help them physically with dry goods or whatever they need. I do know God answers prayer and good things are coming soon. You just gotta look up to the one that created all this.

If I may, allow me to encourage you, that “back to the usual” is not too far off. Yes, it will take some time and plenty of prayer, but rebuilding will surely arrive. It will not tarry.

On my journey I learned to give thanks in every situation no matter how trying it is or may seem. In the vast majority of the cases it could be a whole lot worse. Always give thanks and be optimistic.

What can we learn from Gilligan? He never gave up hope that one day they will all be flying or floating back to the mainland. Optimism is key!

Hang in there my friends. Just think how grateful and thankful you will be when the lights go on, the sound of music fills the salt air, the motor cars have fuel, and the luxury of a refrigerator is actually seen as luxury. It’s going to feel great, isn’t it?

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God Bless New Jersey!You too.

Posted on October 31, 2012 by Timothy S.

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Devastation, horror, destruction.
Images of roller coasters in the crashing ocean, the boardwalks we once roamed on hand in hand, whether it be your child’s hand or the hand of your partner, all gone. Boardwalks washed away like a tiny twig in a river.

Viewing this horrific damage from Texas, reminds me of the hurricane that wiped out the levys in New Orleans during the Katrina storm.
I remember asking myself when seeing the floods on tv and saying “Why would anyone live there?”

The difference between Katrina and Hurricane Sandy for this spectator is this hits home. I know why people live there. It’s a great place to live and raise a family.

For viewers across the country that see that Facebook photo of Route 37 with Barnegat Bay on one side and the Great Atlantic on the other. Separated by only a couple of football fields and water rushing in with the thundering power that washes away anything in its way, I wonder if they ask that same question that I did. When they see that submerged rooftop under the Mantoloking Bridge, are they asking “Why?”

Many uninformed people ask why would anyone live in New Jersey anyway.

I’ll tell ya why. We love our state and all the many different people in it. We love all the beautiful landscapes God has placed in the Garden State as well as the vast amount of self created ones. We may not be as friendly as people from other parts of our great country unless we know you but we love you just the same.

The houses you see floating happen to be in one of the most exciting and memorable parts of Jersey, the Jersey Shore. Yes, Snookey gives us a bad name. We are good people. All the good local people to this area got wounded in mother nature’s violent torrent this week. The destruction invades our memories and quality of life. We feel for our neighbors. We hurt for those that hurt. Together, we are New Jersey.

On a lighter note, Bruce sings “Jersey Girl” in a happy voice. The assumption is its a Jersey Boy in the song. Is there a boy from Jersey when they came of age that did not count the days down until the end of the week when you were going to the Jersey Shore?

Excitement in the salt air with haunting sounds of waves crashing in the dark, game tenders spinning the wheels for your quarters, shouting out “We have a winner!”
All this action and lots of pretty girls to smile at. As young teenagers it was the highlight of our week.

The intrinsic value of growing up in Jersey we take with us, wherever life brings us. Jersey people by no means will short change the future generations of life at the Jersey Shore and all the memories yet to be made whether its a teenage couple or a mature couple getting their first kiss together in a quaint beachside town.

They will come together, support one another, and help each other. This is what New Yorkers and Jersey people did on 911. We overcame.

For those that wonder why anyone would live there, my guess is you are one the people that never visited the Garden State. Jersey gets an unearned bad rap. Go visit the East Coast, you will see how great it is.

In fact, why not visit this week and show some love to people that may need your hand during this awful time? We all get by with a little help from our friends. We are a small state but we have a big heart. We welcome you. Bring love and compassion.

On my journey I learn that destruction knows no boundaries, let’s respond with “Love knows no boundaries.” Bless someone you know in New Jersey. Pray for them right now.

God Bless New Jersey and all the fine people in it!

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Do Grown Men Cry

Posted on October 28, 2012 by Timothy S.

Do grown men cry?

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John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Humphrey Bogart, Robert Deniro. Have you ever seen any of these American icons cry? Do these manly legends shed pellets of salty teardrops off the silver screen?

Do men cry? Do “real” men cry? Let me say this, I wrote an article recently and emailed it to a friend. She forwarded the email to her guy friend, within a short while she receives a text from him that says, “I have never read a more moving story. The mark of a real writer is someone that can make you feel what he is writing. When I finished the story tears were running down my face. I think he knows how much I love and care for you.”

Guess who got a tear in their eye when that text was forwarded to me? Yes, me. The author of that text is a vigilant strong 70 year old man that rides an 1800 cc motorcycle, not fit for wimps nor the faint at heart.

At 46 years old, do my eyes ever liquify? Yes they do and I am not ashamed of that. That is me and I am ok with that. My baby greens shed tears mostly in times of ecstasy and joy. When I see God working in my life so loudly and clearly, I often react with a quick short burst of emotion that sounds more like a cough and disappears as quickly as it came on.

In the heat of my divorce my eyes swelled up involuntarily on a regular basis making it unnecessary to rehydrate my contact lenses.

Does that make a man weak if he expresses emotion? No guy wants to admit to weeping for fear of having their masculinity bruised. As humans we cry. We are built that way.

Crying in the fright of fear ain’t too cool but emotions are heartfelt. Emotions and souls are what separates us from the beasts that crawl the Earth. We are aware of our hearts on an intimate level.

Emotions make life more pleasing. That is why Captain Kirk enjoyed the thrills of living vivaciously and Spoc intellectually acted undaunted in every scene. Let’s face it. Straight logic is just plain boring. I wanted to be like Captain James Kirk when I was a kid, not some pointy eared strange man with a monotone voice that never smiled. Who’s with me on this? Kirk got the girls!

Now that you know one of my boyhood heroes is a tough guy in a skin tight gold shirt, how do tears arrive on my agenda?

One way is as a brand new writer, I can hardly believe that anything my thumbs punch out on my Iphone will “move” anybody. When I learn that something I wrote made someone emotional, I feel their emotion because God used me to reach them and an invisible connection transpired. I immediately get overwhelmed with joy and satisfaction knowing my work made an impact and affected another soul in a positive way.

As for the Hollywood heroes, I opened up this writing asking if you think these legends cry. My conjecture is yes, off the screen their loved ones see teardrops rolling down their bold chiseled faces. These tearful episodes may be few and far between like most guys but I’ll bet the farm someone handed them a Kleenex or two when in distress or in euphoria.

How about you? Can you admit it?
I just did.

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