In and Out. One, two.

In and out. Yes that’s it, in and out. Want to go there with me? No, not the California cheese-burger stand named In and Out but a good place to go if ever you are visiting Heartbreak-Hotel and feel down and out.

Down and out? Is that just a feeling or is it a place you go? No matter how good things are and how much joy we experience in our life, every now and then a sad thought will creep into our brain. If it involves the emotion of missing something or someone we love, the thought can also invade our heart. This unwanted invasion suddenly jolts our joyous emotions.

If the sadness is from missing someone, that’s actually a good thing, it means you cared for someone deeply and shared the frequency of good-vibes of “love” with someone special, but sometimes we need to remember what S.E. Hinton wrote, “That was Then, This is Now.”

So the person is physically gone and you are having a walk down memory-lane and it is hurting like a wasp stung you injecting an acute pain and the wasp is determined to violently splinter a few tender nerves before it falls to its death after stinging you repeatedly.

What do you do with the ache? You just shake it off, right? No. That never works. Well….I suppose if you are heartless and wrenchless it may work. My guess is if you just shake it off, that person probably never took up any real-estate in your heart to begin with. You can also try convincing yourself you do not miss the person. There’s the ticket. Sing John Waitte’s song, Missing You. You can put the chorus on auto-rerun in your mind and sing over and over “I ain’t missing you.” If that does not work, keep reading.

So, if shaking it off is ineffective at the moment, and John Waitt’s song is not doing the trick, I invite you to try this technique I made up. I call it “In and Out.”

Feel the sting. It’s ok to feel stinging from time to time. Recognize the thought you are having as a sting and it is normal. It is ok. Feel it for the moment, just do not get lost there. Down and out is a place you go if you choose to stay there. I invite you to go in and out instead.

Ready? Give it a try. Graciously breathe in slowly and lovingly breathe out good- feelings. It is a two-step process. “In and out.” The first-step when you breathe in is to breathe in gratitude. The second-step on the exhale is to breathe out love.

How do you breathe out love when you feel moments of severe stinging? It is simple. You simply breathe out the love you have for yourself. With each outgoing breath feel your wonderfulness, your greatness and your awesomeness. Get in touch with your goodness and release the love you have for yourself with each exhalation.

What are you most grateful for right now? Think of that on the intake. Take that gracious thought captive. Smile while you think of it. Now exhale. Do this for just a brief five minutes. Do you feel the effectiveness of this exercise? It has the power of a one-two combination punch when you combine it with the second step of exhaling love. Breathe out love, release love into the air.

Ready? In and out. One and two. Repeat, in and out, in and out. With each deep breath think of something you are grateful for and with each deflation of your lungs enrich the environment with your love. Let it go into the atmosphere. Fill the room with love.

Keep doing it. One, two. One, two. Great sigh. Relief. Feel the stress evaporate? I hope so. I hope it works for you. Feel the love. It worked wonders for me and my momentary state of despair changed to one of just plain feeling good again and feeling good is good enough for me and Bobby Magee.

If my trick did not work for you, you can always attempt your best Mick Jagger and go walking in Central Park, singing after dark and sing the Rolling Stones “Miss You.” For me, with the Jersey traffic, Central Park is 90 minutes away, it is more practical for me to breathe good thoughts and throw a mental one-two punch clobbering any wondering wasps attempting to land on me.